Product Review: Flower

Peanut Butter Lady By The Heirloom Collective

While it elicits, for me, a slightly unappealing visual, this is decent weed.

Brand The Heirloom Collective

Strain Peanut Butter Lady

Price Point $42 / 3.5g ($12 / gram)

Listed THC 23.9%

Packaged 2024-09-18T00:00-04:00

Purchased 2024-10-17T00:00-04:00 from The Heirloom Collective

Okay so first time using a new setup - new CMS, static site, and hopefully not much else different.

I’m feeling ambivalent about this weed, though. Or maybe not exactly ambivalent; I either feel like it’s okay or maybe I feel like it’s pretty good. So like, halfbivalence.

I’m feeling very halfbivalent about the Peanut Butter Lady. And everything makes sense.

It’s tricky - I am trying to write this while I am pretty baked, because you know - review time, and also I’m trying to get used to this new text editor, which is weird. So perhaps my halfbivalence is merely an expression of general confusion, and I am confident that this weed is like slightly above average. Maybe that.

It hits fine and smooth. I feel a little sedated but I’m not a huge idiot. I can function to some degree. If I had to go to the store to get a candy bar, I am confident I could accomplish that with a very low body count.

Strength: 7/10

It’s not weak weed, and it’s got a little boinginess to it from the decently sized terpene profile (2.5%). I can feel my brain doing more than just being boring high. Things are happening. There’s a fire a brewin’. Leon’s getting larger.

I think it’s a little bit of a creeper; for the first few hits I was worried that I’d been had. I mean not really but what a fun expression. I was worried it was weaker than I wanted.

In closing, this weed is medium strong. Like Paul Rudd, maybe. I bet he has a medium level of overall strength.

Taste: 7/10

If it tastes like anything, it’s dirt. Which would be a lousy slogan for almost anything.

If it smells like anything, it’s like nice, rich, woody earth. And that is pleasant. And I mean it does hit smooth. The fact that it tastes like burning is hugely ameliorated by the fact that it doesn’t feel like burning.

I wonder how it would be smoking weed with Ralph Wiggum? Probably pretty scary actually, seeing as you would have just smoked weed with a 9 year old who is the son of a police chief. Of all the characters on the Simpsons, I would most like to smoke weed with Uncle Herb.

Appearance: 8/10

It looks quite nice and it seems like it was treated well. No shake, not a lot of stem, and quite decent crystal guys on the buds. Can we call them guys? I’m going to call them guys. Even if I think it’s really trichomes.

From now on, though - just guys.

Aside from the guys on the buds, they were maybe a little small but who cares at all? This was pretty and it ground up nice and it did all the things.

Overall Score: 22/30

I think I have to start grading weed on a curve based on geography, or at least start recording the state as one of the items in the list. Because for Massachusetts, this is really quite good. But in Maine I would be annoyed and in California I could just do a lot better every time. But that wasn’t true at the beginning in California, so there’s also some chance that I have to pass a learning curve on Massachusetts weed.

The great thing about Harborside - the dispensary I went to the most in Oakland - was that despite really average or slightly high prices, it was set up like a grocery store; you could go around and fill a basket and check out just like a real adult. So you saw all of the product and could compare and take your time and that was all lovely.

But back to this weed and this state and this way of buying. This was really pretty decent weed. And the stuff I got last time from the same dispensary, The Big Smooth was a good deal better.

In the dark times, before the website came back, I also found some nice bud out here. So yeah - in actual context, maybe this bud is only mediocre. I was right to be halfbivalent. There really is no Easter Bunny. The Peanut Butter Lady may be a lie.

If you look at the review as a whole, this weed really does win. I’m high and I’m being silly and that, after all, is what it’s for. Weed, I mean. That’s what weed’s for. And it makes you really smart too.

The Big Smooth from Nature's Heritage

10/11/2024