Product Review: Flower / Bud

Key's Runaway Bride

Runaway Bride is a delightful romp. Gere and Roberts are electric onscreen. No really it was a garbage movie and this weed isn’t very good either.

Brand Key
Strain Runaway Bride
Price Point $35 / 3.5g ($10 / gram)
Listed THC 18.68%
Packaged 02/02/2021
Purchased 03/06/2021 from Harborside

Okay so this was bud that I bought with some rewards points I had saved up. For the lower end strains at Harborside, they do not list the stats of the bud on the site. I suppose this is a deliberate choice and it seems to be that many dispensaries do the same. It’s kind of pure obfuscation, really. If you want to buy based on something that is on the package you would think they would pass that info through to the consumer, amiright?

Anyways it is shocking to me that a part of the world does not run according to my exact preference. Is all I am saying.

So sorry that’s a lot of time to not address the elephant in the room on this weed – which is why would you name a strain of weed after a mediocre semi-sequel? I feel like this is a movie that no one has actually seen. But we have all sort of watched it happen through glazed eyes on a flight from some place to another, or playing on one of those sad little movie screens on long distance buses. I think this is a movie that was designed to be watched while riding across country on a greyhound bus. In that context – it might even bring one a ray of joy in an otherwise fairly dank week.

Speaking of dank – this weed isn’t really. It’s like totally fine for the price, though, and maybe even a little attractive from super up close.

It does not smell like a lot. Maybe a little like lemon pepper. Which is just about the taste. Like really weak lemon pepper. In one of those spice jars that you leave at the back of the cabinet and only use thrice yearly.

It’s a shame you can’t just go around saying thrice, isn’t it?

So really – don’t buy this weed unless it’s the last eighth on the shelf. Much like the film of the same title, it is a lackluster version of itself and appropriate only when traveling to Albuquerque from Jacksonville by bus. But if you get it for free it’s not bad. Like when you get a free meal only it’s from Wendy’s.

Strength: 6/10

It’s not dirt weed at all but it is definitely on the weaker side of fine.

Taste: 7/10

Does not really taste a lot. Like I said in the long bit a little hint of lemon pepper combined with nothing. Not super harsh.

Appearance: 6/10

I mean – these are small machine cut buds. I have no complaints and the zoom shots actually demonstrate this is not totally unsophisticated weed. But it’s not boffo. Not boffo at all.

Overall Score: 19/30

I seriously can’t get over that they named a strain after that shitty ass airplane movie. I would rather smoke Curly Sue. I would much rather have smoked Another Stakeout. What about Mannequin 2 : On The Move? That would be a sweet name for a strain. I’ve got more…