Product Review: Flower / Bud

Pineapple Jack by UpNorth

Pineapple Jack is the hardest mini boss ever. Also great weed. I had fun smoking it. In a bong.

Brand UpNorth
Strain Pineapple Jack
Price Point $60 / 3.5g ($17.14 / gram)
Listed THC 33%
Packaged 06/15/2022
Purchased 07/29/2022 from Harborside

My synapses feel like pudding. Pineapple Jack is a nice, strong strain which to me is like the essence of Northern California bud. It’s nice and green, super potent, and has a nice, warm high.

Pineapple Jack would also be a great pirate name, but that seems a bit obvious. It would also be a good name for a villain in a video game. Like – at the end you have to beat Pineapple Jack and he’s an asshole. He throws sombreros at you and breathes fire.

I tried to stretch the photo session out on this and in general am trying to work on how to provide more interesting photos. I think at one time I was going to start adding action figures and matchbox cars and I may revisit that in upcoming months. I’m also finally trying to start some SEO and may even add some normal blog controls (like buttons to go to the next entry and search and stuff) at some point soon. As I am starting to have enough content it seems vaguely worth it to try and gsin some small audience. If nothing else it will likely drive me to create more and that can’t be a bad thing.

But back to this weed… I like it. It’s like square in the middle of all the things I like and it makes me feel fuzzy and calm. I bet I could read the shit out of a book right now. I would not be opposed to going out for a milkshake. I am also a bit in the mood for like putting on a turtleneck and going to a jazz club to snap my fingers and wear sunglasses indoors.

Strength: 9/10

Nice and powerful. Like a friendly puma named Evan.

Taste: 9/10

Hints of lime and citrus. It tastes lovely to smoke. It smells lovely. It’s lovely.

Appearance: 10/10

Like usually you don’t notice, but these buds are really beautifully trimmed. No stem – super fluffy but still plenty dense.

Overall Score: 28/30

This is like the platonic upper median of weed. It has everything great weed should – taste, strength, complexity. I would definitely seek it out to buy again. Especially when it’s this fresh and smelly.