Product Review : Flower / Bud

FAAFO by Cream of the Crop

The median of top shelf bud. Utterly unremarkable but without any major flaws.
BrandCream of the Crop
Price Point$55 / 3.5g ($15.71 / gram)
Listed THC35.71%
Purchased01/14/23 from Harborside

This weed is the epitome of ambivalent. And by that, I mean it is unremarkable in every dimension. You remember the neutrals in Futurama? If they were real this is the weed they would smoke. And I would generally smoke it with them. Because they seem chill.

I’m not even necessarily trying to say anything negative here. This is good weed. I more or less believe the numbers, though they might be slightly exaggerated, at least against what I have smoked so far. It comes on strong at first, but I find it retreating to kind of a medium buzz pretty quickly.

Also – again with the gold writing on a black background. Everything wants to look like a Fisher Stereo circa 1987. Which was a hot look back then but maybe has not aged as well as folks seem to think. How about good old fashioned black on white or white on black for people who don’t want to sweat the pains of properly branding themselves? Why does everyone look like they misspent their logo budget with their nephew who just got out of art school? </rant>

So yeah – I guess this weed leaves me wondering. I want to be more positive but like it’s just sort of an indica high with no flavor, mentally or otherwise. So I guess we’re gonna kind of mark this is a meh experience and move on. I was somehow expecting to find out more when I fucked around.

Strength : 7/10

I’m just not wildly impressed. It’s got some strength and all but it’s just not that great. I am going to try and hit some tomorrow and maybe I will adjust this opinion slightly. Important for you to know – I try to find things to like about all of the weed. Because hey – it’s all trying to be good weed. There’s no weed that is hoping to be shwag. I bet to them that’s like a racial slur. And by them, I mean buds. I call them guys.

Taste : 6/10

There is nothing unpleasant here. How do you give a rating to like the air in a generic open space? This did look like good grass and it certainly smelled like weed – maybe a little more on the pine side, after it was ground. There was not really a taste. And I have smoked several bowls just to make sure I’m giving this the once over. And also because I like to smoke weed. Hooray for weed! Hooray for school! I will now try to take another bong hit… still nothing. But I will keep trying.

Appearance : 8/10

I mean it looked terrific. Buds are photogenic as hell, no shake of course – just a top notch presentation. He’s a sharp looker and not even a bad performer. We’re just kind of done with him. Like Steve Guttenberg post 1991. We’re all set. Nothing personal. Enjoy the residuals.

Overall Score : 21/30

On a closing note, I just read the Leafly Review of this bud. I mean if it is a review. It kind of reads like the copy that the dude who came up with the strain name explained it by. And then there’s some basic guesses of how it works based on the terpene profile. Did anyone there even smoke this weed? I mean – obviously they’re good at raising money around a nebulous, almost non-existent and shifting idea. And I have the utmost respect for that. But in terms of a review I am pretty unimpressed.

Again – this bud just didn’t quite do anything special. It might be more aptly named Entitlitus, because it has all the trappings of a top shelf bud with none of the struggle.